LotS fic, Bad Guys
Synopsis: Where in the name of the Spirits do they keep coming from???
Category: Humor/Total crack
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
A/N: Written for legendland, for the conspiracy theory challenge. My first attempt at writing pure crack. It was...interesting. lol
First the D'Harans, and then the Banelings. They were both the same--well, relatively speaking. One was an army made up of crazed soldiers fanatically devoted to the House of Rahl, the other was a bloodthirsty, reanimated creature from the Underworld who exist only to kill. Okay. They weren't QUITE the same, but they both lived to kill our beautiful, heroic, heroes. That alone was enough reason to fight, and kill, them.
Okay, now that we have that settled, moving right along to the REAL question.
WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE SPIRITS DO THEY ALL KEEP COMING FROM?
Picture this—it’s a beautiful morning in a beautiful forest. Birds are singing. Grass is growing. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE THEYARESCREAMINGHORRIBLEWARCRIES! OMG, IT’S THE D’HARANS!
Our heroes fight—hair is epic, kicks are furious, blades are flashing, fire blazes through the air. It’s all over in moments, the crazed bad guys dead on the ground (with maybe one confessed and another twitching under an Agiel because someone hasn’t noticed the fight’s over yet) and our heroes victorious—and completely unscathed.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE’S MORE!!!OMG!!11 FIRST D’HARANS, THEN BANELINGS! THEY’RE EVERYWHERE! KILLING, SLASHING, CLAWING, BITING!
Oh, now they’re dead too.
Zedd leaned against a tree to catch his breath. “There can only be one reason for all of these attacks.”
Cara kicked over the last Baneling, her Agiels clenched in her fists. “What would that be?”
“Whoever it is,” Richard said, sliding the Sword of Truth into its sheath, “We have to find them.”
Zedd’s eyes narrowed. “There’s only one type of creature with the powerful magic necessary for summoning of this magnitude.”
Kahlan stepped closer. “What kind of creature?”
Zedd paused as if uttering the word would somehow cause the end of the world. “A writer.”